Five Stages of Grief for Pens Fans

Well, it's official, the Penguins are out of the 2014 playoffs. And it sucks. For whatever reason, I personally expected a different outcome. Maybe I figured Dan Bylsma would coach better/differently with the added pressure of losing his job. Maybe I figured...I don't know that the team could win without making a big acquisition.

Regardless, what's done is done. Keep on reading to see my guide to understanding the loss and moving on.

Stage 1: Denial and Isolation
We're not talking about denying the Penguins were eliminated. They were, that's why we're at this point. No, we're talking about trying to rationalize the loss. Heck, even I was showing this stage in the intro, throwing out reasons that I thought the team would be okay. This stage tends to be identified by making excuses or other attempts to rationalizing the loss. "Sid was injured." "The stars weren't scoring." "They ran into a hot goalie." Any of these sound familiar? I know I heard at least one of those immediately after the game last night. It's not that they aren't true. It's that you're reaching for anything to try and rationalize why they lost. There's also the isolation part. Maybe you're thinking you don't want to go to school/work the day after for whatever reason. Maybe you just want to be alone in your room. I don't know that everyone experiences it on this level, but to some extent, everyone wants a little alone time after yet another Penguins season crashes and burns.


Stage 2: Anger
I personally got through this stage mostly last night. "How could the Penguins blow that 3-1 series lead?!" "HOW COULD THEY NOT WIN ONE OF THREE EFFING GAMES!?!?!" "I hate this team." I pretty sure I said all of those things at some point last night. Definitely the last one, though in different words; that's become an annual thing for me, it seems. Anger is pretty straight forward, and probably a part of the reason the off season lasts several months--if it wasn't, would you be ready to start a new Penguin's season in June or July? I wouldn't. I need more time to cool down and let go of another the wasted season. In this case, the Anger may be directed at the Star players for 'underperforming,' the coach for 'bad coaching decisions,' maybe Ray Shero for 'not building a supporting team for the stars.' Heck maybe you're insane and want to blame Fleury for 'another playoff meltdown' (Which absolutely did not happen this year). Me? I personally tend to direct my anger at the abstract of the team. Every elimination I say I need to find a new team. But every year I come back for more.


Stage 3: Bargaining
The funny thing about sports is that this stage can literally mean making deals. I'm not talking about making a deal with the devil to turn back time and change the result (I find it hard to believe the Penguins could have taken the next round anyway). For this stage, and this case, I think it comes down to off-season transactions. You're starting to move on from the lost season, and trying to determine what you can do differently to make next season better. Who gets re-signed? Any trades? Who gets the blame for the miss in the organization's eyes. While in a normal grieving process there isn't a 'next season,' in sports it seems there generally is. This allows you to move on a little easier perhaps, and gets you starting to think about what can/will/should be done with team. The gist of the sentiment of this stage is still the same, namely trying to regain some semblance of order or control. For sports, you're looking for a way to get back to the 'norm' for the regular season.


Stage 4: Depression
This will probably only hit the most die-hard of fans, and probably still not that much. It's mostly going to be feelings of sadness at the lost season and the seemingly wasted hours spent cheering on a team that ultimately couldn't cut it. Again, by now you're probably looking to next season, so this stage for a sports fan will be decidedly muted compared to a typical loss grief period. This stage will ultimately prepare you to do it all again in the next stage.


Stage 5: Acceptance
For me, I'm usually hitting my stride for this stage right around the NHL draft. It's a good distraction and metaphorically a sign that life will go on: your team will be picking up brand new, young players...the future of the team. Likely a short time after some of the older ones may have announced their retirement (Looking at you, Craig Adams), you get some new names to look into. At the very least, most legit fans of a team will hit this stage by the preseason, and be ready to start the whole, crazy thing over once again.



Well, that pretty much wraps up this list. Perhaps the 5 stages of loss apply to sports fandom, maybe I'm just reaching to put an idea down to read. Either way, I guess I'll go...I don't know probably be angry? Check back next week when I play GM and deconstruct the team!