Campbell's Court

Welcome to the newest feature here at the TH studios. Whenever there is trouble in the NHL: Headshots, Concussions, etc., one man has the power to make ultimate judgement on the event. Enter Gary Bettman NHL Senior Vice President of Hockey Operations, Colin Campbell.

This...is Campbell's Court

VO: Today's case pertains to a hit from the defendant, Islanders Defenseman Andy Sutton on the plaintiff, Pittsburgh Penguins' forward Pascal Dupuis.



Bailiff: All rise for the most honorable Judge Colin Campbell.



Campbell: Thank you, you may all sit down. So, what happened here?

Sutton: Well, I was going to check the Plaintiff, but he's so short that-

Dupuis: I'm not short! I'm just French Canadian!

Campbell: Now you just cool your frenchie jets.

Sutton: Anyway, as I was saying, I went to check him, but he's too short, and I accidentally hit him in the head.

Campbell: Wait...That's all that happened?

Sutton: Well...yeah.

Dupuis: I WAS LAYING IN A POOL OF MY OWN BLOOD!

Campbell: Say what now?

Dupuis: He hit me from behind, in the head, into the boards, and left me laying in a pool of my own blood! This is serious! This isn't an alley in New York City, and I'm not offering handjobs for $5!

Campbell: Watch your mouth, frenchie! This is a family court, I'll have no vulgarities.

Dupuis: Sorry, your honor...

Campbell: That's better. Now, what was the result in the game?

Bailiff: Well, your honor, the plaintiff was helped off the ice by teammates and the defendant was given a 5 minute major and a game misconduct.

Campbell: So...was frenchie on a stretcher?

Bailiff: Beg your pardon?

Campbell: The plaintiff...was he on a stretcher?

Bailiff: Erm...no. He was helped off by his teammates. You never listen to me anymore...

Campbell: Well that solves it! No stretcher, no intent, no suspension! Case dismissed! Oh, and frenchie...

*Campbell holds up a $5 bill*

Campbell: I need you in my chambers.