Accoring to a recent NHL.com article, Marian Gaborik, Mr. Injury (Martin Havlat played over 70 games last season, so Gaborik wins this one), has declared that he is 100% healthy and done with his Injury phase. This is how I'm thinking next season will go for him:
Gaborik (thinking): Man, this is great! New town, gonna stay healthy this season, 100% for once in my life! And I'm out of that damn Western Conference! They're such goons over there.
Glenn Sather: Hey, Marian, glad to have you aboard. We're expecting big things from you. I'm sure you wont let us down like that damn mexican Scott Gomez.
Gaborik: Mr Sather! I'm glad you were willing to give me a chance! So who are we playing tonight?
Sather: Tonight we have an inter-division game. We're playing the Flyers.
Gaborik: Huh. Never heard of 'em. Well, any team named after birds can't be that tough, right?
Sather: I need new scouts.
*Jump to the start of the game*
Gaborik (thinking): Man, what a city!! The fans are so great and the lights seem so brighter! Nothing can stop me now! Oh here comes the puck!
*catches the pass and begins to skate ahead*
Gaborik: Wait...WHAT THE HELL!? WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?!?!
Chris Pronger: RAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
*Pronger checks Gaborik, whose hip vaporizes*
Gaborik: NOOOOOOO!!!!!! I guess I should have gone to the Islanders! At least they're used to overpaying people with bad hips!
Friday, July 3, 2009
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